absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
