I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize