According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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