i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize