i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
