Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I will be naked everywhere
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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