I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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