after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
