She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
