I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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