Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we're making bets on your personal life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize