I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
