talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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