I don't think brook has ever known best
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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