WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
