that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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