batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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