he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
