My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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