Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
