she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
