paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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