im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
