My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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