i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize