I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
