Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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