Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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