Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
