ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this beer tastes like vomit already
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
