If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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