Apparently you make a good broom.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
