Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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