please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
