I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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