You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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