we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
