you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
YAS. BRING CRAB.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
