How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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