well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
