But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
