She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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