Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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