yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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