Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
