Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
