I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize