Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
