feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
