No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
