how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
