Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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