I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
