do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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