Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize