Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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