i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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