i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
