great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My vagina is officially offended.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
