dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
