Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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