He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
