I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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