I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
