i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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