her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
