whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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