That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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