i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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