just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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