so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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