From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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