i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
